InfoHazard
by Delusional777
Summary: A completely normal story.
1. InfoHazard

I don't know if anyone will be able to read this. It might be affected by my...quirk, like everything else in my godforsaken life, but it's the only thing keeping me sane, and if it makes it to an alternative universe it might _actually_ be readable, and that's my only chance I got of getting out of here so...here I _fucking_ go.

My name is Izuku Midoriya. At the time of writing this I am 28 years old. Japanese, but if you can read this that should be obvious. I live on a nice lil' planet called Earth, or at least WE call it that.

Did I really just consider _aliens _picking this up and reading it? Honestly...fuck it, sure, yeah.

I lived in Musutafu, Japan for most of my life. We lived in a world of abnormal abilities, _quirks_, we call em. Some humans can shoot fire out of their hands, some humans can see in the dark, some humans are really, _really_ hard to kill, and one human in particular could punch with the force of a goddamn **NUKE.** At least, he could when he was alive and in his prime. We called him...**All Might.** He's a...jesus christ...he's a superhero, okay? Yeah we live in a world of superheroes and supervillains, all that jazz. Ever read a comic?

My ability, my quirk, is the worst thing in the entire fucking world. Or at least, I hope it is. I ah...hold on, I'm gonna get the notes I wrote on it. Wrote them when I was pretty young, updated it a few times. I used to be real into this hero shit but that's for later on.

Found it, ahem.

Quirk: **InfoHazard**

The subject (Izuku Midoriya) will appear to act as if they were an "average variable" to the outside world. This is in complete disregard to the subject's actual words and actions. No matter what the subject does or says, reality will be perceived differently by everyone to accomadate those words and actions as NORMAL, or the subject's words and actions will be perceived differently to accomadate reality as NORMAL.

So that's kinda...vague, I know. Honestly I'm pretty sure lil me had a better idea of what this is than I currently do.

Basically, if I were to walk up to you, punch you in the dick, and tell you to suck mine, then either reality, or my actions/words, would be changed so that nothing feels _off_ to you. Nothing about that would be _unusual_.

To you, you'd feel like you'd have to pee suddenly, tell me to have a nice day, and when you left my...I dont know, _range_, I guess, your dick would start to hurt really badly, almost as if somebody punched it 30 minutes ago. Don't ask me how I know this information.

You wouldn't remember me, most likely, and you wouldn't remember that day or incident a week later, because it was completely normal.

This seems like a cool fuckin' power, right? It probably would be...if I could control who it worked on and when. That's just the thing, it works on EVERYBODY, so long as **information **about **me** is present. Thus, it is, and I am, an **InfoHazard**.

My own fucking mother thinks I work in retail, my 4th girlfriend thinks I proposed to her yesterday, and my superhero colleagues can hardly remember the shit I did, because it wasn't even _me_ that did it, apparently...that and...they aren't alive anymore. _Ahem. _Guess it's to be expected...no matter how common they are, nothing about being a hero is defined under _normal_..

Of course, I still _kinda_ exist. Some particularly smart cookies are capable of keeping knowledge of my quirk and myself in their heads, but it doesn't last long. If I'm doing legitmately _normal _shit, not much will change aside from some words and mannerisms. For whatever cruel ass reason, knowledge of my quirk is considered normal, but everything outside of the name and description gets muddy. Hell, usually they forget I'm the one who's holding it.

I guess it's not too bad, really. I hardly have use for money since me carrying anything is _normal_, including stuff that isn't mine. I hear some really good gossip since nobody worries about me listening in since it's _normal_. I have never been pulled over because..._normal_ people don't speed? I actually don't understand what **InfoHazard** defines as _normal _sometimes. One time I was playing fucking _NormalWatch_ while ignoring my girlfriend, and later she recalled how I spent the entire day treating her while she was bedsick with the flu. While it's pretty screwed up, isn't neglect, breakup, and not having a perfect relationship also _normal_ in life? I've seen tons of failed relationships and...ugh, fuck it I don't know what _normal_ is anymore. All I know is that, for the most part, _normal _is whatever I'm _not._

Sometimes I think about how ashamed my younger self would be that I turned out like this...

I'm gonna take a shower and kill myself. Might come back to this later if I don't.


	2. Normal Beginnings

I'm back. Alive. Apparently I discussed the details of my wedding with my girlfriend today. What I really did, I'd rather not bring up. God my head hurts. Anyways I should keep telling my story or something...

"Not all Men are Born equal..."

I think Thomas Jefferson said that but I'm not sure. God knows how fucking right he was on that. This is my introduction, by the by. I'm taking you back to my favorite part of my life, MY LIFE. The life I HAD before **InfoHazard **shafted me up the ass.

I was...4? Yeah, 4. Maybe 5. Most kids got their quirk by then but I was something of a late bloomer. Anyways, I was always watching this video, the video of the ultimate Symbol of Peace: **All Might**. Dude was fucking MASSIVE, like, if a bear decided to stand up and fight crime. Except this one could punch with the force of two colliding trains. He had this signature laugh and smile that just inspired hope from even the darkest depths of your soul. He's the closest we have to a god. There's actually a church based after him but I'm getting off topic. I watched this video of him, his debut I think. City's burning, smoke everywhere, plenty of dead and panicked civvies, and this man just starts fucking laughing, saying **"Everything is fine, why? Because I am here!"**, and oh my fucking god, I watch that video more than I do pornography. I still watch it, it's one of those things that just gets you through the day.

So yeah, I idolize this man-god and naturally want to be like him in every way possible. That includes being a hero, helping people, saving lives, beating up villains...well, at least I do one of those things now huh? See, this is where the "quirkless" problem comes in, as if I could be so lucky to NOT have **InfoHazard**. It's something of a stigma to be quirkless, like a disability. Even super weak quirks are better than quirkless.

"Hahaha! I can enlarge my tongue to a slightly higher length and this guy can't, so he's clearly not as good as me!!!"

Look, we got some cool quirks around, but most of them are God screwing up and beta testing humanity. Building blocks before the castles and stuff. The vast majority of quirks fuckin' suck. Still, it was an individuality thing rather than a power thing, so without a quirk you weren't an individual, just one of the quirkless. Stupid, I know...

Holy shit, speaking of stupid! I didn't tell you guys my old, _old_, _ex-living_ best friend! His name was Katsuki Bakugou, I called him _Kacchan_ for short, and dear god was he a fucking dickhead. He had this real flashy quirk called "Explosion". I'll let you guess what it does. Dude picked on me after he got his quirk, was pretty sure he was better than everyone else. Even wanted to be better than All Might, like goddamm boy okay? I think I liked him though, one of those _never give up _types. He stopped beating the shit out of me after I got my quirk, which was pretty funny actually, since it was definitely _normal_ for him to beat up other kids. In fact, he mostly just ignored me...sometimes I wonder if he remembers the time before my quirk as well, or if **InfoHazard** screwed that too before he kicked it.

Right...guess I should start this story.

Little old me was in my house, watching my All Might video, wondering when the fuck my quirk would come and what kind of hero costume I would have. Mom called me "Small Might" and I ate that shit up faster than Katsudon, which is still my favorite food funnily enough. Then, it came. Usually kids have no idea when their quirk comes to them, sometimes they accidentally set shit on fire or start flying during bathtime, but I kinda..._knew_, you know?

I told my mom I got this feeling and she said "Oh shit Izu okay let's go!" and she took me to the doctor's office.

Ok, I don't think she _actually_ said that, but it's been awhile since me and her talked. Talked legitimately, anyways.

So, the doctor tested me and nearly passed out trying to write my quirk down next to my name on the lil clipboard of his. At that point I'm guessing the quirk fully kicked in, and it was fighting with his brain. Somehow though, the crazy bastard was able to write the name down successfully. The only piece of evidence in the world that confirms _that_ quirk to _my_ existence, explicitly, anyways. As far as I know, there's only two other people who are able to do that, and I'm pretty sure he was only able to scrape by because my quirk was still..._weak._

On the way home, Mom threw me a party and congratulated me on my quirk. She even got dad to call, and I was pretty psyched about that. Me and dad were talking, he asked if it's my mom's quirk or his, and I told him EVERYTHING I could remember about what the doc wrote down. Now, keep in mind, I was pretty young, and I didn't bring home any official documentation about the details of the quirk. I spent a whole 4 minutes trying to explain **InfoH****azard **to him, completely unaware of how fucking cursed it actually was. His response?

"Aww dang, I really wanted it to be mine. That's alright though, Mom's is definitely better...though I hope your version of it is a little stronger, ha ha!"

"Version of _it_, version of what?"

"Why, your mom's quirk of course!"

Four _fucking_ minutes. Ugh. A little freaked out, I tried to tell mom instead, and without missing a beat, or remembering _shit_ the doc said 30 minutes prior, she said "I'm so happy you got my quirk, Izuku!"

The next day, I went to play with my not-so-best friend Katsuki Bakugou. Even though my quirk was weird and made no sense, it was way better than being quirkless. Surely he'd be...a little better now?

Eh, it was more of a trade off.

"Kacchan! I got my quirk!"

The guy looked taken aback, but in a sneering disbelief way, like when you step on a roach but it just gets back up. "Oh? Well what is it?"

See, even at this point I knew he wouldn't wait around to hear me explain my compicated-ass power, so I just said it.

"**InfoHazard!**"

He raised his brow and repeated the word back to me, and holy shit, I was _ecstatic_. I wasn't going crazy, he knew my quirk, my _actual_ quirk! He said the name _back to me_. Then...

"Figures you'd get auntie's quirk! Not as good as mine though!"

"Auntie" is my mom. See, my mom and Bakugou's mom are pretty close friends, so me and the little shit were in close proximity even when we didn't want to be. My mom's quirk is like a weak version of Telekinesis. If a kid could lift it with one hand, she could lift it with her mind. God what I'd do for a simple quirk like that...point is, **InfoHazard** made him ignore the fact he acknowledged it literally 4 seconds after he did. Why? Because I didn't respond after he said it, and that's not _normal_, I guess. Instead, it was replaced with a false memory of me telling him I got my mom's quirk.

You can know what **InfoHazard** is, you just can't know that is has anything to do with me.

After that little incident, my lil green self got a little despondent. That's the right word, right? "Despondent"? Lemme look it up.

Ooooookay, so I was right on the word, but Thomas Jefferson didn't actually say that. Close enough. Right, despondent. After that I got really sad and committed my first ever crime: Thievery!

I walked away from Kacchan's crazy ass, not yet realizing it was I who had the problem, and visited a little shop with candies in it. I picked up one of those lil spongecake shits, you know, the ones with the cream inside? God I love American junk food. Almost makes you forget about the fact they have enough nukes to destroy the world by theirselves, not even counting the ordinance STILL held by the others. I unwrapped it and started munching away in store.

Now, I know thieving is wrong. Mom taught me manners, I was just sad at the time, totally intended to pay the guy...who wasn't even looking at me. That's something else **InfoHazard** can do. A kid comes in your store and starts eating without paying you first? Well if things were normal, he'd get the candy, pay you, then leave the store and start eating. Not this kid though! So in order to restore things to "normalcy", **InfoHazard** straight up removed any trace of my existence from his current present. It's like he was watching a camera feed that's played on a loop, except the camera is his eyes. I tried to get his attention, but nothing happened. In order for things to be normal, I couldn't exist. Uncertain and definitely afraid, I did what kids do, and ignored the situation entirely, leaving the store.

My first vile act as **InfoHazard**, petty thievery! Beats murdering villains at least. Yeah. That's...something I do. Never caught because...well you can probably guess why. That reminds me, I gotta go out on patrol today. Well, no I don't, but I _want_ to, because that's what _heroes _do...and I'm a hero, I hope.

Note to self, buy a gun safe.


	3. Corruption

I'm back! Dealt with three villains last night. All of them up and comers, hoping to make a name for themselves and the like. One of them was kinda cute, but I know very well by now to NOT stick it in crazy. Another one of them actually damn near killed me, his quirk was a kind of mental fortitude quirk, made the target not feel pain, but it also partially protected him from **InfoHazard**, so his nosebleed and headache tipped him off to something being up.

See, _that's _why I have the gun.

"Now Izuku, is it really fair to use your overpowered quirk and a _gun_ to fuck up small league villains?"

Not at all, not everyone has the pleasure or power of _just_ fighting big league villains. What if one of them had a lucky quirk and established me as a threat? My ass would be liquified, **InfoHazard** or no. Besides, while the top heroes tackle the big conspiracies, who's watching the common man? Who's gonna protect you from a quirkless mugger or a new villain? What's the point of killing the **_Supreme Overlord of Evil_** if his little underling shits are still running around rampant? There still needs to be a village to save, at the end of the day. So they can have their big villains, I'm fine right here.

Maybe I'm just a little upset my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would. At least I have my girlfriend...even if she is too sick to even move most days. Fuck. Let's get on with it.

So, as you can guess, I was pretty goddamn ecstatic at being able to get awsy with virtually _anything_ at school. A larger portion? Just grab it, nobody cares. Don't really feel like studying? Just look at the smart girl's paper, you won't get caught. Feel like mumbling to yourself all day? Go ahead, no one will hear it. Well, actually sometimes they will.

**InfoHazard** is always changing. If you do something that isn't socially okay, it will either make you goddamn nonexistent to everyone, or it will warp reality so what you're doing IS socially okay. That means there are _new_ normals sometimes, and it catches me off guard.

Case in point, me, twelve years old. Now I don't know how the _others_ had it, but I started puberty a little young. One day I was walking through the halls, trying not to think about the depressing reality that I will never have any real friends, when I accidentally grabbed some girl's butt.

I know this sounds fucking vile, coming from a 28 year old who won't even write down his own girlfriend's name, but it was completely accidental, I assure you.

I freak out, start blushing up and stammering and making excuses, and she just turns around, smiles, and kisses me. Then she says "Oh hey Izuku, I was wondering where you where!"

At this point, I've never talked to a girl in my entire life, I've never even _seen_ this particular one. So being fucking _kissed_ by one after some accidental sexual assult was...disorienting. Then she starts chatting me up like nothing happened, the guy she was previously talking too didn't even look confused or hurt, he just left. After a minute or so of me being a...person who needs help to normally function in society, I ask her a question.

"H-How do you k-know m-my name?"

"Why Izuku, we've known each other since we were babies! Your mom Inko used to bathe us in the same tub, remember! Is _Kacchan_ still being mean to you? Oh! I almost forgot!"

The girl got a big ass thing of chocolates out of her bag and gave it to me.

"Hope you like it! You can give me my gift later, we're both gonna be late!"

Then she kissed me again, and left.

So, what the hell happened?

I accidentally grabbed a girl's butt, and just like that, an entire life long relationship was formed between us, complete with backstory and romance. Every desperate, pathetic man's dream come true. Later I asked my mom if she remembered the girl, and in exact detail, she described us with tears in her eyes, remarking that she was _so proud_ of me for growing up with such a good person.

I'll admit it. I liked the sensation of kissing. I was a horny, pre-teen boy who has never made meaningful decisions in his life, and finally something new happened! I lost two things in the following months, one of which was a pretty large chunk of morality towards others, and the other thing is something I'd rather not say. Fucking **InfoHazard** ruining my emotional development...

In happier news, I saved a baby dog today!


	4. Fears

Back again. Took a day off today, since I was creeped the fuck out by something NOT NORMAL that happened. I was walking around, just enjoying myself, thought about taking a "Which hero are you" personality quiz, when I noticed a girl. Cute girl, around my age, bit younger, kinda plain looking with long green hair. It was pretty weird but not too weird.

She was staring at me.

_That's not something that happens._

NOBODY STARES AT ME.

THAT'S NOT NORMAL.

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE A REASON TO STARE AT ME.

I kept my head down and kept walking, looked back, and the bitch was still staring, like a fuckin a-hole.

_Okay_, I thought, _She must have a quirk that helps her resist **InfoHazard**. No biggie. I'll use "the test". _

I steel my nerves and chambered a round into my handgun, just in case. I hid it once more and start walking towards her. Eye contact and everything. Her eyes widen and she starts running. I panick and fire at her, but she rounds a corner.

2 seconds. I lose track of her for 2 seconds. I know, I counted.

I round the corner and this bitch is _gone._ Nothing. It's a dead end alleyway, the kind of place you take someone to stab them or...do something else with them. Logically, it was the worst possible option for her, but I KNOW she went in there. I take my gun out and warn her I won't hesitate, just in case she IS resistant to **_InfoHazard._** One sweep on the area later, and I have no answers whatsoever.

There's no evidence she climbed or broke into a house, there weren't any camouflaged people around, and no residue from a warp quirk. She disappeared off the face of the fucking Earth.

_She knew she was danger. She RECOGNIZED ME._ _Quirks that allow people to resist **InfoHazard** are usually in the mind, and have very little practical use. Nothing that would allow her to, say, jump over the building or teleport..._

So now I'm in my apartment, double checking my official non-offical database of quirks that could give me trouble, and I'm stumped.

I don't get it. I don't _fucking get it._

I.

I need to relax. I'm writing to keep sane.

So write.

Okay...let me tell you about the end of school, at least, the end of schooling before Yuuei. As you can imagine, I was a little socially isolated from everyone. Even when having normal conversations, there's this...disconnect between me and the other kids. To them, I'm Izuku Midoriya, holder of telekinesis, I have one girlfriend, and have always had one girlfriend. I do above average in terms of grades because of my _natural_ intelligence and am an average kid with a decent friend group and good behavior, a goody two shoes.

You already know who the fuck I am, and so did I, even back then.

I remember...one day our teacher told us to start thinking seriously about our careers. At this point, I knew money didn't have much value. I could have anything I wanted, but I still wanted to be a hero. He threw out these application forms all around the class, clearly not giving a shit about who would clean it up, and remarked that Bakugou and I are aiming for Yuuei.

Bakugou just said, "You? Yeah, probably. I can't see any of these other extras coming with me."

Now that was weird. Is this really what Bakugou would've thought of me if I had telekinesis? Just a change of quirk and suddenly he can tolerate me? Certainly different from his usual attitude, at least, the one based off before I had my condition. While thinking this over on the way home, a goddamn sewer grate behind me exploded.

Imagine the worst smell you've ever smelt...smelled? Smelled.

NOW MULTIPLY IT...BY SIX!

Heh, I love that old movie. Not so popular nowadays though...

It was BAD. Rotten corpses drowned in expired, sun bleached milk. It was a monster made of slime, towering over me. I know now it was a freaky quirk, but back then my instincts just said run. Another part of me wanted to stay though...I've never fought a villain before, or seen one this close. I wanted to be a hero, didn't I? I don't know what I was thinking, but I stopped running and turned around.

He was muttering to himself, didn't quite hear him, but it didn't matter. The point is, he didn't see me. At all. I walked closer and he still didn't do anything. Purposely or not, **InfoHazard** was protecting me. Villain's aren't normal, I suppose. So his presence in conjunction with mine meant I didn't exist anymore. Just like the twinkie. I thought for just a moment before picking up a broken, empty liquor bottle, it's jagged edges very capable of hurting someone.

I slashed at his body, but that didn't do much, the slime just reformed later. So after that, I tried his eye, and to my surprise, a reddish liquid starts leaking out, and he looks to be squinting through, mildly inconvenienced. I then realized that I could hurt him, I could keep stabbing and slashing and bleeding him dry, and he probably wouldn't even react, would he? He'd just drop all of a sudden.

This was my chance to stop a villain.

I'd just finished putting his left eye through the garbage disposal when I fucking heard it. A rumbling from the manhole. Something else had been chasing him.

_A hero, probably! They'll see that I stopped him!__ Or...I hope they do!_

I didn't get myself down, I stopped a villain and was about to be face to face with a hero in the _same day_. I couldn't afford to have any negative thoughts.

**"I AM HERE!"**

_No...NO FUCKING WAY! IS TH-_

Hell yeah it was. All fuckin MIGHT jumped through the hole and with one punch, he fucking **annihilated **the sludge villain. Parts of him where _everywhere_. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite see me...and because he had no information about me, that punch knocked me on my ass too. The wind that resulted from his one punch threw me quite a distance, got a nasty scrape out of it, but not enough to scar.

Man, I really wish it scarred, not that I'd have been able to tell anyone about it anyways.

After I get up, All Might walks over to me with his signature smile and dusts me off, apologizing for the trouble. I did the best I could, which surmounted to trembling in place, thanking him back, and desperately looking for my notebook, which he signed! I still have it too, locked safely in...well, wouldn't _you_ like to know? He starts picking up the sludge villain and I tried help him...but after that, I stopped existing.

See, after All Might "rescued" me, I was no longer an average hostage. I became an individual again, someone who's more than an extra on a tv show. **InfoHazard** didn't allow that, it seemed. I tried to grab one of his plastic bottles to help scoop up Mr.Clean, but...my hand phased through it.

That's right. It wasn't just "All Might couldn't detect me", it was more **Izuku Midoriya is temporarily non-existent.**

I tried screaming, talking, touching (not like that!) him, I tried smashing the bottle on the ground but he didn't notice, I tried crying (okay, I didn't try to cry, I just did) and praying to whatever would listen...but nothing changed. After All Might left the scene, I existed once more, pretty pissed off to wear. That being said...

I GOT ALL MIGHT'S AUTOGRAPH, SO I'D SEE THIS AS AN ABSOLUTE WIN!

After that incident, I realized a few things.

One: **InfoHazard** did not protect me from All Might's wind. Why? Well, he didn't know I was there at the time. So either information about me needs to be _perceived _in order to be manipulated, or there's a limit to how much bullshit **InfoHazard** can deal with at once, and All Might is a pretty big deal.

Two: I was able to harm a villain, which meant I'd also be able to stop them, **InfoHazard** or no.

Conclusion: I could still be a hero.

Next stop, Yuuei!


	5. Trigger

The cursed antihero, Izuku Midoriya, wrapped his blood-stained hands around the throat of an enemy. The struggle was not very eventful, with the enemy gasping for air, but not retaliating directly against Izuku. Seconds passed, and so did the life of the victim. Izuku had murdered another villainous person, for such noble intentions!

He shifted through the corpse and found what he was looking for: an innocent looking medical syringe, filled with a liquid identified only by it's name. He gently stored the needle in one of his coat pockets, planning to use it later. He would not go through withdrawal for the coming week, at least!

_A filthy drug peddler dead, and more **Trigger** to last me..._

Satisfied with his work, Izuku turned to return home. Perhaps he would write in his personal journal when he got back! He would certainly have to omit some details, however. While he was certain nobody would ever actually _read_ his journal, he didn't want to risk his image. He was a hero after all!

**_Bang! _**

From one of the many shadowed areas of the alley, a poison dart flew towards our morally grey protagonist! Too fast to dodge and too sudden to anticipate, the dart whistled through the air and _completely missed_ the addict. That's not to say that the would-be kidnapper had sloppy aim, for that is incorrect. Her aim was perfect! The issue, was that she aimed to interefere with Izuku Midoriya, the unwilling wielder of **InfoHazard**.

Wo and behold! The green haired menace was not merely searching for trigger, he was already under it's hazy spell! **InfoHazard** on it's own does not make one immune to an untimely death, but it does prevent most situations that would cause it! **InfoHazard** enhanced by the drug trigger, however...

Izuku gasped and pulled his sidearm, emptying the magazine into the shadows from whence the dart came. After a silence broken only by hurried, frightened breaths and a brief reload, Izuku approached the dark, certain to find a holey cadaver behind it's shadowed blanket. He. Saw. NOTHING.

"A phasing type quirk? Interesting, but why the trigger?", came a feminine voice from behind him.

_Fuck!_

He turned again and emptied his weapon into his ambusher, each and every shot hitting it's target. The first shot hitting her knee, the next four in her torso, and the last four in her head. No matter what type of quirk she had, those bullets would ensure she was massively hindered, at the very least. Yet as hot lead reached their target, not a stagger, not a grunt, not even a _flinch_ came from the woman...who...who...

_Why is she dressed like THAT?_

This lady's unknown quirk was the least strange thing about her. Across her entire body, this space ranger was outfitted in some kind of futuristic militant getup. A sci-fi looking rifle slung across her back, a gauntlet with several openings in it's knuckles that were filled with poison darts, and a helmat with a heavily darkened visor, tinted blue. Whatever other features she had could not be determined due to her armor, aside from the fact that _this girl is freaking tall!_ Standing above him at an intimidating six and a half feet, she looked like a supersoldier from the future.

"Are...are you from the _fucking _future?", he asked, more curious than afraid.

She chuckled lightly.

"No, not exactly. Why don't we talk about why I tried to kipnap you? I obviously can't hurt you, and your weapons are too primitive to hurt me."

Izuku's blood drained from his face. She...responded to him. Not just to his actions, but to his _words_. She didn't treat him like everyone else did, she treated him like an _individual_. The most terrifying thing he had ever experienced, now replaced by this moment. For whatever reason, **InfoHazard** did not affect her.

What's a trigger addled maniac to do when faced with a universal impossibility? What thoughts, functions, and bodily responses could someone in such a unique situation use? Would he talk? Would he fight? Would-

"Can...I play with your laser gun?", Izuku asked innocently.

The supersoldier stared at him incredulously, wondering if he helmet had malfunctioned or if she really just heard a _grown ass man_ ask to _play_ with her rifle.

"...Sure."

"Fuck yeah. My place is this way."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"I detect an entity in that room, lethal or non-lethal?"

"Jesus fuck, no! We're _not_ gonna _deal_ with my GIRLFRIEND."

"Ah..."

Izuku led his female counterpart to his apartment, practically sensing her disgust at his living conditions. The hallway to his room was filled with various food stains and the occasional vomit, all uncleaned, an unfortunate side effect of **InfoHazard** twisting the minds of the other residents. His nose had long become blind to the wretched odor, his partner was not as accustomed.

Then, he opened his door.

_"What the fuck..."_

Izuku Midoriya had not been fully honest when he previously described his living conditions. Trash strewn about and filth piled up, blinds by the windows that looked as if they hadn't been opened in years, suspicious stains around his high-end PC and miserable excuse for a bed, from which his girlfriend was ridden immobile by some type of illness. The man took the syringe of trigger and placed it in a wooden box, locking it and throwing the key in a random direction, lost to the sea of _mess_. She was NOT impressed. The others were valiant heroes, mysterious vigilantes, or bloodthirsty villains, and _this_ Izuku Midoriya was...just some unharmable guy with a good shot, living like a hermit.

"So...", Izuku began, taking off a heavy coat to reveal green combat boots, grey sweatpants, and a blue button down shirt, "What'd'ya want? I dunno who you are or why you tried to kidnap me, but you are immune to my curse, and that makes you interesting. Let's start with a name."

"That's complicated. Let me ask the questions. Who is Himiko Toga?"

"Toga...killed her a few years back. Had this blood drinking quirk that let her disguise herself as others. Pretty hot."

"Toshinori Yagi?"

"Never heard of 'em."

"You're lying", she said simply.

Izuku furrowed his brow, considering the moral ramifications of exposing the secret of a dead hero. A test would have to do.

"His favorite number is eight."

"Do you have it?"

"Nope."

"Who has it?"

"I'm not telling you that."

"I know about One for All. We don't have to talk like this."

"I don't even know who you are! Take off that helmet, _Buzz_."

"I know about All for O-"

"DON'T...", Izuku caught himself before giving into his anger, "_Please_, don't say that name..."

"I...apologize. I am not aware of any events that have transpired", the mysterious soldier said, full of sincerity. Her lack of knowledge was what set him off.

"Oh no? You don't know? You don't know how All Might succumbed to his wounds? Spending his last days in a _fucking _hospital bed? You don't know how that _bitch Himiko_ impersonated a nurse and poisoned him? You don't know how the fucking _day _after he kicked it that All for One was broken out of Tartarus and went on a fucking _rampage_, destroying entire cities before we could mobilize against him? You don't know how **_he killed every single one of my friends_**_ without breaking a sweat?!? _Noooooooo, how could you? It's not like it was broadcasted as a _national_ FUCKIN' EMERGENCY FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH BEFORE I..."

The man in front of her lost all of his fury, sobbing into his hands for a solid minute. The soldier pieced together his story. This place, despite it's stable appearance, was far darker than it initially appeared. She shifted uncomfortably, knowing very well she wasn't capable of helping him with her words. She removed the energy core from her rifle and gave the rifle to him.

He nodded appreciatively and inspected the gun, assuming a variety of stances and aiming the weapon every which way.

"...thanks. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It's understandable."

"Hey. I don't mean to freak you out or anything, but what's your quirk? Mine is weird as shit, but long story short, you shouldn't be capable of having a conversation with me. So your quirk must be counteracting mine somehow."

"I'm quirkless", she simply replied.

He dropped the rifle. Did she just...?

"That's not humanly possible. You cannot be alive, and _not_ have a quirk."

"I'm...not from around here."

"From _Earth?_ You're not from planet Earth? Lady..._fuck._ Are...holy shit!"

Izuku sprung out of his chair (knocking a vace over and shattering it in the process) and assumed a cheesy karate stance. She stared at him incredulously through her helmet.

"_Hai!_ I knew it! Classified names and knowledge of All Might, but nothing about the worst disaster in human history! You are covered head to toe in armor and speaking to me like a human, yet no human can be quirkless and alive after what happened! You are immune to **InfoHazard** was well! All this can only mean _one _thing..."

_Shit. Shit! SHIT! Has he figured it out? Does he know I'm from...? Damnit I'll have to request a memory wipe and..._

"YOU'RE AN ALIEN!", he declared, full of confidence. A special type of confidence, the kind of a child has when he raises his hand, only to deliver the wrong answer in front of his entire class. The girl, amused but also impatient, simply shook her head no.

"No. I am a normal human from an...organization that documents peculiar individuals. Individuals with quirks like yours. One of our scouts was sent here to do some reconnaissance, but you fired apon her. We assumed you had a memory erasing quirk, as that would explain why there where bullets around her extraction area, but she couldn't recall why she requested an extraction. She described you, and your world as: _Perfectly Normal_."

Izuku nodded. The woman that was staring at him...she was part of a larger scheme altogether. Still...

"They found your girl with screwed up memories and a near death experience...so they sent _Master Chief_ to kill me?"

"My armor looks nothing like...you were deemed unknown, possibly dangerous, so I was sent to _kidnap_ you for interrogation. However, your quirk seems to make you unattackable. That is actually what I wish to discuss futher. You would be suitably compensated if you answered my questions honestly. I need to know every single detail about your quirk."

"I don't exactly _need_ money. All the money in the _world_ can't solve my problems. Also, I don't _want_ to talk to you. I still don't know your name or anything about you, you can't even take that stupid ass helmet off and talk to me face to face? Wanna know something fucked up? Despite this being an 'interrogation', you haven't asked for MY name even once! Seems like you don't give a damn about _who_ I am! So tell me, why the fuck should I care about your questions?"

"Because even if money won't help, we can provide almost any good or service known to you. I am _not joking_ when I say that. We could provide you a therapist, the best in the world. Advanced technology, like my suit. Things you cannot buy with money, or ever find on your own. There must be _some_ way I can help you."

Izuku scoffed. She didn't get it. Just because _she_ could have a real conversation with him didn't mean anyone else could. Therapy was off the table, and while the gun was cool, he honestly didn't care about her sick ass spacesuit.

_Still..._

"That girl. On my bed. The one with the orange hair and cloudy eyes? She's not really my girlfriend...at least...not anymore. She is the best hope for the entire world and..._he..._All for One...he poisoned her with something. Some kind of disease or virus. Nobody can fix her..."

Izuku felt his fury return.

"Fix her...and I'll tell you anything and everything you want to know."

The soldier moved to her bedside, observing the sick hero.

"I haven't seen this in awhile...but we can cure her."

She returned to Izuku, and pressed a button on the side of her helmet, "Alright, audio is now being recorded. State your name, sex, age, and every detail about your quirk."

Izuku rolled his eyes, knowing very well that recording would be _useless_ to anyone who heard it, as they'd forget everything the moment after they listened. Still, she was his last remaining option for a cure, so...

"My name is Izuku Midoriya, I'm a 28 year old male and my quirk...**InfoHazard**...is a curse..."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Unbelievable...", she said.

"Yeah. I know. I've tried to explain it to others several times, but as you can imagine, it doesn't work out. That audio recording of yours is useless. You are the only person in the world who can truely understand me. You won't even be able to tell them about me, they'll just ignore you."

"If...if you were to convey information to another, would they be able to recall it?", she asked.

_Weird..._

"Yeah, as long as it's got nothing to do with me and as long as it's..._normal_ information. Phone numbers, addresses...names, locations. If I were to tell someone that a terrorist was about to firebomb a mall with a stolen aircraft, then they'd probably forget...and a lot of people would die...", Izuku trailed off, becoming absorbed in the memory.

"Well, what if they were _expecting _information like that? What if this person is someone you speak to with the purpose of warning about terrorists attacks?", she inquired further.

Izuku shrugged, "I guess? The situation has to stay _normal_ though, anything that would provoke too much of an emotional reaction or leave room for doubt would get messily ignored. If I told the ice cream man that I'm here to deliver a shipment to my house, he'd hear me fine, but if I said the same to a school teacher, it wouldn't work. These are pretty specific questions Ms..."

She didn't answer, instead speculating possibilities.

_A quirk like **InfoHazard** is amazing! I mean, yeah, growing up with it must be shit, but imagine what we could do with an agent like him! He'd be the perfect spy and infiltrator. Whereas I'd have to use a cloaking device and remove my armor, he could walk into an enemy fortification with whatever equipment required and in plain sight! He could blend in anywhere, in any situation! Not to mention his invulnerability he gains when he enhances his quirk with trigger...to literally not exist...a quirk that protects it's host...amazing. _

"Uh, you alright? You're muttering about quirks n' shit. I mean, I can't blame you, I used to do the same thing. Muttering to myself."

She blushed lightly, embarrassed to have been called out on her habit yet again. She was once again thankful for the visor that protected his identity...

Right. On to business. She took back her rifle that he dropped on the floor.

"Thank you, Mr.Midoriya. You have answered my questions and thats all I came here to do. I'll be back tomorrow to administer a cure, and then our business will be concluded."

"Wait. Concluded? As in...do...do you live around here? Or...have a number, maybe?", Izuku asked, a little too desperate to have someone to talk to.

"No, I don't. I'll never return to this place again after tomorrow", she concluded bluntly, happy to finally be able to leave the filthy apartment, the stench of which was somehow able to invade her airtight armor. She went for the door as Izuku stumbled up to try and stop her.

"W-Wait wait let's...hold on a minute, I...the nature of my quirk...I can't exactly talk to people...I mean I can, I just...I can't have _real_ conversations with them, but with YOU I...do you see where I'm going with this?", he weakly suggested.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Izuku. I can't stay or return. It's not just a matter of distance. I'll literally be off this planet...I'll be back tomorrow."

"I'll..._I'll do anything._ Please don't go...", the lonely man begged.

_How long has it been? Since I had a sincere conversation? Since I have ever been able to open up about my past? To find a person capable of listening? I don't care if you're some weird chick from the future...I don't care if I never see your face...I had given up hope...but now.._._all I care about is being able to talk to another person._

"There...may be an option, but you'd have to give up everything", she said, before coldly leaving him alone.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

After returning to her superiors and spending an hour informing them about a _purely hypothetical _self-containing secret quirk and it's potential, she requested the ability to recruit a new agent. While skeptical and confused, they ultimately trusted her judgement, giving her two recall requests and a memory wipe, if he refused. She exited the office and made her way to the teleporter, waving at some of her literal like minded colleagues as she did. She stepped inside and typed in the coordinates.

"**Agent Delta 2, AKA 'Teiko', designation: Heavy, do you wish to-**"

"Confirm."

"**Teleporting to universe C-47 in 3...2..."**

After flash of light and a deafening roar (one that was thankfully nullified by her helmet), agent D-2 was on the grounds of Izuku Midoriya's apartment complex.

She walked to the same apartment as last time, noting massive differences in the pathing. Mainly, everything looked cleaner, no vomit stains or unpleasant things that would make her believe a murder had transpired. The door itself was replaced, which she knocked on.

Izuku's attention was brought to the door, recently replaced but still loud all the same. Was it her? With a cure? Only one way to find out...

He let her inside.

"Woah...", she remarked, looking around at the _spotless_ apartment. All the trash, the stains, the food and clothing strewn about, all gone. The carpet was treated with stain removal and vigorously scrubbed, the sheets and pillows on the bed were replaced, the ceiling...looked normal. Every place where there was once filth was now cleaned to the point of unfamiliarity. Even the _girl_ looked clean, as if she was bathed, she smelled like strawberries too. Teiko looked at Izuku's hands, which were irritated and raw from hours of unrelenting labor and chemical exposure.

"You renovated."

"I-uh...yes. You said it would cost me everything and...I want to leave her the best, you know? Do you have it?", he asked, desperation leaking into his voice.

"I do", she said, pulling out a syringe from her gauntlet filled with a pale green liquid. She moved to the girl's bedside andand gently placed it into her wrist, pushing the liquid in.

"How long will it take?"

"A week, usually."

Izuku nodded, grateful that his closest person (who was still alive, anyways), would be alive and would come back to a clean apartment once she was out of the hospital. He was about to make a call, but she stopped him.

"Wait. You don't know what accepting means."

"I don't need to know. If it means going away and talking to a _real _person...I can't live like this anymore. I could help you with your job, right? Get information on quirks? I could do that easily."

"You could...but that's not the main issue. Let me explain...and don't freak out, okay?"

The supersoldier moved her hands to the back of her neck, unlocked a hatch and releasing a vacuum seal. Air rushed out from her helmet as she took it off. Izuku was shocked at the sight before him. Pale skin, green hair tied up in a manner more practical than stylish, green eyes, and a freckled face. Izuku Midoriya felt like he was looking into a genderbent mirror of himself. She offered a weak smile.

"_Ta-daa!_ My birth name is Itsumi Midoriya, but I go by Teiko. I am from an alternate universe, and I work for a multi-universal organization that seeks to keep all universes stable, and prevent any leaks into others. It is our duty to ensure ultimate peace and prosperity to mankind, as well as repair the occasional chronological errors that can sometimes happen. Chances are that I know everybody who you know, including that girl on the bed. A scout was sent here a few months ago to document this universe, and by extension, you. I come with an offer. You will work for our organization, and I will keep you company and possibly introduce you others who can communicate with you as I can. I can't make any guarantees, but chances are we will be working together or you will go into missions as a lone wolf. Common tasks for a quirk like yours would consist of reconnaissance, infiltration, and the occasional assassination. So...what do you say?"

A resonding silence was heard, and it was only now that Teiko had realized Izuku fainted apon his perfect carpet.

"Crap...I knew I should have taken this slow..."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

**Author's Notes: **This story has potential, I just had no direction for the longest time. I am not skilled enough to write exclusively in 1st person, but Izuku's journal entries will still be a thing, particularly for flashbacks and his way to vent.

I changed a few details around in the last chapters about Izuku's not-girlfriend and his dead hero friends to make space for the changes I made in this chapter. It's not necessary to view them, as they are for new readers to the story. Now, let's see if I can make **InfoHazard** great!


End file.
